Shameless

On November 9th, 2.5 weeks ago, I did something fairly obnoxious.  I posted a note on my facebook wall that Aaron and I were looking to find a gestational carrier, and that if anybody knew of someone who had ever expressed interest, to send them our way.  Amazingly, there were several wonderful, unselfish, beautiful women who came forward showing interest.  The one that sent me a message right away was a relative of mine.  She has two beautiful children, and has been interested in becoming a surrogate for some time.  She had filled out an application for an agency, but wanted to tie a few loose ends up before comitting to become a surrogate, and was getting close to sending in her app.  Then she saw my facebook note, and couldn't believe it. She loved being pregnant, and said that if the situation were reversed, she hoped that somebody would be able to help her out.  She went to have a physical within a few days, and was given a clean bill of health:) 
Since then, we have been trying to figure out what in the heck we are supposed to do to get this ball rolling.  Since I have not asked her how comfortable she is with me announcing her identity to everybody, I will refer to her as "Lady L."  She has been an angel to start this journey with, as she has probably done more research on this than we have. 
There are a few random issues to figure out, like health insurance, contract/attorneys, life insurance, etc.  However, all 4 of us have an appointment set up for January 4th for a "gestational carrier consult" with the Mayo Clinic.  I know that after that, we will each have to pass a psych eval, and then I believe Lady L will have to go in for the injections training, mock transfer, etc.  So, even though January 4th seems like forever away, it does give us some time to figure out all of the other housekeeping items.  We don't have a specific timeline in play, but to keep my own sanity, I am imagining a late spring-ish transfer.  I don't know if that's realisic or not, but that's my plan:)
On a side note, I am so glad that we have the ball rolling on this.  Today was actually our full term due date with Savannah and Charlie, and knowing that we may have another opportunity makes today slightly less miserable. 
Although I think it's ridiculous that we still haven't heard whether or not we have been accepted to work with our adoption agency, we do know that God works in mysterious ways.  Aaron and I have talked about how it just may be a blessing in disguise, as if we had been accepted with the adoption agency, we would have wanted to start the home study right away, and would not have put that note on my facebook.  We still think that adoption is a fantastic way to become parents, and know that we may choose to pursue adopting again someday.
We are still praying for patience, but we are much more calm, as we know some of the steps that are ahead for us.  We pray for our miracle to happen, however unconventional it may be.  Neither Aaron nor myself have ever been super traditional, and are not about to start now, lol.  We have lived our lives as if they were an open book lately,  and we will continue to do so.  Shamelessly and thankfully.

Surrogacy

Well, our change of heart was definite!  I was very saddened as I was reading others' blogs about infertility and adoption.  It just doesn't make sense for us to adopt, take the chance for another family away, when we have 4 frozen embryos being stored right now.   We had intended to donate them to other couples, but it seems like the stars are not aligned for our adoption journey after all...  So, we are planning a surrogacy journey.  Not sure when, how, etc., but we'll get there. 

Day 38

I think we have had a change of heart.  I will have to change the title of this blog to Heidi and Aaron's Journey.  We still have not heard back from the agency, and I handed in our application 5.5 weeks ago. 
I could deal with the wait, and so could Aaron, but we are struggling with something else.  There are some people who have been waiting for over 7 years to adopt their first child.  These people don't have other options, such as finding a gestational carrier.  Aaron and I know how heartbreaking the wait to become parents is, and there are people who have been waiting, hoping, and praying for much longer than us.  If we were to adopt a child, that is a child that can't be adopted by another couple.  We have four healthy frozen embryos that we are currently storing.  If we don't attempt to use them now, when will we?

Day 33

Still no news.  No email, no mail, no phone call, no fax, no anything.  Ugh.

Day 30

Well, it was officially 4 weeks ago yesterday that I hand delivered our application.  I am losing faith by the second.  The only thing that I can compare this to is the 10 day wait, ladies, to find out if you are pregnant or not.  I am quite familiar with the 10 day wait...  Now, triple that.  And then at least triple the 9 months of waiting to meet you child.  That is what we are facing, which we would be so excited about, if the ball were actually rolling.  It feels like we are at a standstill, and I am frustrated with that.  We have talked to other people who said they heard back within 5 days of applying, and started the homestudy within two weeks.  Maybe this path was not meant to be after all?  Am I missing something here???
We continue to pray for patience, and hope to hear back soon.